Good By Old Couch – I Slept on Thee Well

Hi Everyone,

Every Family has one piece of furniture, an old couch that sits unappreciated in your living room, family room or den upon which everyone falls asleep. Often it is old and battered, and is totally shot and worn out from the many bodies who have fallen asleep on it while watching their favorite series or reality show, a rerun or movie, or whatever. In any event, you don’t mean to fall asleep on it, you just do sleep soundly on it late into the night, or during your favorite afternoon baseball, basketball or football game. Only to be awakened by your spouse, who asks you why you didn’t come to bed sooner or come to supper.

Then one day, it is just far too uncomfortable and heaven forbid a new one is needed! Well, we just got rid of our old couch, and yesterday afternoon while working from my home, I watched out of my home office window as the recycling truck with the big crane on top came by to take it away. You could hear a rumbling from a long distance away, around the corner, as it approached our court. Then as it lumbered on to our court, barely able to make it around the sharp corner and then around the small island of trees in the middle, it was upon our old couch in front of our home.

From my home office window, I could see that it was suddenly atop our most beloved old couch, like some sort of huge animal of prey. It’s huge claw like jaws were slowly and skillfully maneuvered  by a workman with the hydraulics over to it. Then like some sort of ancient tyrannosaurus rex or behemoth of a brontosaurus, the jaws at the end it’s long neck were  ever so slowly manipulated over the unsuspecting, old defenseless, couch. Diving into it as if it were some sort of meal time snack, the jaws totally engulfed it with only the arms of the couch sticking out. The jaws suddenly shut with a snap, in horror, I could hear the crushing sound it made, as it devoured our old couch. Then, ever so slowly, it lifted  the crushed remains high into the air and dropped them, regurgitating them, into the body of the hungry dump truck, as if it were feeding a nest of hungry Jurassic dino babies hiding and unseen, inside that tall sided recycling dump truck.

In a moment, I suddenly realized that it was gone! My old couch was gone. Devoured in one mouthful and taken away by the bulk pickup truck of our modern Junkassic World. I will miss my old couch and all the times I and my family have fallen asleep on it, and the memories of the movies and news events we have all watched from it.  I truly wonder, will the new couch we ordered  be as comfortable?


Joe Wocoski